I am in therapy but it's been a year and I've tried all these things. I had a job at a hotel where I got pay raises twice over a 14 week period, I texted her about how successful I was and she didn't care. So I stopped going to work all together told them I got super sick and couldn't work anymore. They still call me from time to time to make sure I'm alive. I really liked work and the people there were awesome but I just couldn't get myself to go anymore. It's not like I haven't tried doing things, just it's gotten to the point where I don't want to try anymore. I feel like if I could get a forget the last 3 years medication I would take it. I just want her out of my head. The best way I can discribe it is like in the movie inception, the main Characters wife is like how she is, except she's not dead.