It is excruciating. And last night was tough, but I finally talked to him and had most of my questions cleared up.
I want him. Best friend of semi-relationship, I want him. I want to cuddle and hold hands and, maybe, even kiss every now and then... I want to feel close to someone. I need that.
We talked, and I feel a bit stupid. I forget that he told me that he was broken, too... Every now and then, he just feels smothered. It's not me; it's him. That's how he is. I'm going to make it clear to him that he can have his "private time" to just be alone and unbothered whenever he needs it, and I don't want him to be afraid to ask for it, and I won't be offended.
Like I said, I love him. I feel a little better this morning, but I'm afraid to come off of this medicine, because my emotions are so out of control, and it's usually about it.
I just need - really need - peace in this aspect of my life...