Hi, MotownJohnny. I learned how to change my thinking and radically accept myself, others and life -- with all of their chaos and flaws -- by using Rational-Emotive-Behavior-Therapy by Dr. Albert Ellis.

I started with The New Guide to Rational Living. It's a great book and helped me to start changing my thinking.

This book, How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable, has short chapters with exercises at the end of chapter. It's a step-by-step approach to learning how to change our thinking and learning to accept ourselves, others and life.

http://www.amazon.com/Stubbornly-Ref.../dp/0818404566

If you were willing to get that book I'd be very happy to discuss the chapters and exercises with you and to help coach you through how to do it in the easiest way. I've been doing it for years. I use it every single day of my life.

I'm not a perfectionist for form or demanding that it has to be done a certain way. The most important thing is for a person to start.

When I got the books, I went through them really fast. Nothing sunk in. Then I went back and went over the material slowly, doing the exercises. It was hard for me to admit that many of my problems were due to my beliefs and thoughts and actions, rather than to things other people did. Really hard.

The only person we can change is ourselves, so this approach deals with us and learning to change the things we can and accept the things we can't.

If you're interested and willing to go about it in a structured way, we can talk about it. If it's not for you, there are other approaches that might work.

Mostly, I want to commend you for wanting to head in the direction of acceptance and changed thinking. You'll have my support!