It's hard to say when it's a teenage girl. I would take her to a therapist to get screened for D. When I was a teenager I was doing things like taking handfuls of Tylenol and burning myself but parents did not know. I wanted to drop out of high school even though I was class president. In retrospect I was depressed but I didn't know. I still don't know sometimes and Im 35!!

In either case trying to be gentle and supportive is the best thing for a parent to do. Easier said than done. I know some parents have expectations for their kids deeply set in their minds. If the child doesn't meet those expectations the parent can struggle. That could be happening with your wife. My mom is like this with all 5 of her kids.