I'd say you married a man who was a re-creation of your trauma. You were abused before, and then entered into a marriage with a man who thinks your main purpose in life is to get him off. Yeah, I TOTALLY get that sex means something different to guys, but at the same time, whatever happened to "for better or worse"? I'd end up being a total -ss to this guy and telling him that if at any time in the future he is unable to "perform" that you're going outside the marriage to find someone who can satisfy you. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, and yeah, what goes around comes around.