Hi Tangerine, I'm really sorry things see so hard for you right now
But can I translate that to you don't want to live???
First of all, I aren't going to try to talk you out of anything, but maybe we could come up with some ways to make living a little easier for you...........and gradually, slowly, something you might actually want??
I'm not saying there are any quick, easy answers or magic words but.........maybe??
So do you think you could maybe start with a bit about what's been going on for you.........?? In your own time...............??

Alison