Welcome to the forum, SNR. I also hate crying in front of people, and have full-on sobbed in front of my T. After years in therapy with him, it still feels awful and embarrassing. However, that said, there is something -- "relieving" isn't quite the word, but it's close -- about finally saying some of this stuff out loud. Sort of like palliative care, I guess. It doesn't fix anything and the overall thing is awful still, but slightly less awful somehow. I told him this horrible, awful thing I have hidden all my life, and he still treats me the same.