Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche
Oh wow, ScarletPimpernel! I hear that you're scared, and it sounds a bit overwhelming... but wow. It's kind of a really neat opportunity, in a way. 
So, here's what I think.
- I've seen a couple people here applying DBT techniques in their posts, and I've been impressed. It looks like it has the potential to be really helpful (though if you're only there for 3 months, I wonder what part of DBT you'll be learning?). I hope some of these people chime in, because I have no experience with DBT... I've just noticed people talking about it here.
- You mentioned being worried about being judged, but did you know, DBT specifically has a "nonjudgemental stance"? So, if they're judging you, they're doing it wrong!  Does that help, even a tiny bit, in not worrying too much about being judged?
- Groups are scary for me too. But, it sucks to miss out on something that's potentially helpful because of fear! Maybe everyone there will be a bit nervous about the group? Maybe you can sit in the back, and just sort of get a feel for the group on the first day? Could you bring some sort of comfort/stress relief item with you to play with (I've been wearing a pretty bracelet that stretches to therapy, to distract myself when it gets too scary - I love it!)? Maybe there's something else that your T can suggest to help you feel a bit safer if you go?
- The other thing about safety... if it's a rundown place with scary clients, do you want to bring something like pepper spray? I've said it before, but I brought pepper spray to my first meeting with my current T, since he was a man, and I didn't have a referral (so no one vouching for him). I assumed he would be fine... but just in case... I had it right in my pocket, so I didn't need to dig around in my purse for it, *just in the very unlikely event* that something happened, and I needed to escape quickly. It helped me feel a little more calm, because I had a plan.
I hope you can do it! I get the fear... I'm pretty much fearful about *everything* - but this *could* be such a great learning experience. What kind of commitment do they require? Do you know if it's possible to go the first class, and then bail if it's too awful?  |
Ty! Those are some great suggestions. I do have pepper spray! It might be expired though (it's 9 years old
). And I do have a bracelet to fiddle with (the key ring strechy type). I don't know if I'll be able to sit in the back. I hope so.
The type of clients they have there are mostly people with Schizophrenia... I don't mind parnoid Schizophrenia, but psychotic Schizophrenia I mind. I lived with both when I was 18-20. I don't want to go back to that place. It makes me feel like I'm going back to that time. I never fit in there when I was younger, and I'm afraid I'm not going to fit in again. What if the staff treat me like I'm a "typical borderline"? What if the clients see me as too high functioning? This place doesn't treat people with BPD.
Btw, if you're wondering how I know, I went there ~6 months ago to try to access their groups.
I don't know how the group works...if I have to commit to x amount of time. I won't know what module they'll be on. I know distress tolerance will be the most helpful, then emotional regulation, then core mindfulness. Least helpful will be interpersonal effectiveness.
But I'm just mostly afraid of the people...in general. I can barely stand the grocery store. Hell, I can barely stand going for a walk in my neighborhood.
I know it will be good for me. And I already promised I would try it out. My T said she would be proud if I simply walk through the door. But that doesn't take away any fear.
I will be talking to my T about it. I have about a month before I'm expected to go down there and do an assessment. I wish my T would come with
Maybe I can convince her to give me something to hold onto? Or bribe me somehow. Bribes work for me
