I don't see the point of it at all today. There are no meaningful relationships in my life. There is no direction. My mother used to say 'something will come along' when I offloaded about my crappy existence. It never has in any substantive way. Any chances I did have to build something fulfilling for myself my depression managed to ruin - although I don't beat myself up too badly over the past as I know I can't change anything. I am not coping in the present. I am not happy.