So I did an experiment at work. I force-faked "happy", though i am moderately depressed, for about a week now. One girl who had been steering clear of me previously ended up asking if I wanted to go to happy hour today. weird. I force-smiled and force-giggled and force-wished her a good weekend, but declined (ummm...nothing sounds better to me than my couch and some blankets right now). I just found it funny that a little faking goes a long way. I am not sure if I am ok with this or if it was just a temporary experiment.

The one thing that makes me annoyed is that, we are all human, why can't we be free to express the full range of our emotions without fear of social isolation? Even though I often isolate when i am depressed, it makes it soon much worse if people stay away from me during that time of need. Ugh. I don't know what to do...fake it to make others comfortable enough to not want to avoid me? Isolate and wait for this depressive storm to pass? damn depression.