Quote:
Originally Posted by guilloche
Oh... and you asked, "what if they treat me like a typical borderline?" - do you have something specific in mind? I'm having a little trouble imagining what behaviors they might take towards you, if they think you're a typical borderline (or were you more worried about the judgement?)?
And, I'm sorry that it feels like you're going back to a painful period of your life (if I understood correctly?). I know that feeling... it does suck. I have no good advice for that one, other than realize it's not forever... and you're not the same person you were then.
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I've had many people accuse me of being manipulative or a liar. I have been told that I enjoy drama. I've even had my sanity questioned. I've even had the opposite happen and told that I'm making up my mental health issues. People assume I have inappropriate boundaries. They just assume I have symptoms that I don't have or am more severe than I am.
I was part of the county's system back when I was 18. While I had an awesome T while there, the rest was horrible. I had Pdoc's who told me I'm fat, was b.s.ing, was telling me how to live my life. I had a counselor who yelled at me telling me to "stop being borderline". I had a 50ish man hit on me. A roommate who flipped out on me because she thought her ex-husband was going to kill her daughter. I've had clients lie about me saying I was harming myself when I wasn't. It was hell for me.
I have worked hard to get out of that system and away from those people. And now I'm going back... I know it's temporary, but it's scary. I wish I could afford a private group. If I had a private group, my T could be more actively involved too.