So I found out the cause of my constant lower back pain is that I have disk degeneration. The doctor said it was genetic. My dad has it in his neck. I started looking for pain medicine after trying all I can otc because of this new back pain that is killing me some days. But I've had constant lower back pain for 6 years, since I was 17, but since I'm young and say I've had pain that long without actively seeking help until now makes me look like a pill seeker. At least that's how I feel. The orthopedic doctor told me he couldn't prescribe me oral medication because of how they'll react with my psych meds. (Viibyrd, Xanax, Valium, hydroxyzine and triliptal). He prescribed me a compounded cream that had to be special ordered and it turns out I couldn't afford it. I live off of ssi. This cream was $87 for a weeks supply and that was with my dad's good insurance. I told the orthopedic that I couldn't afford it and he said he didn't know what else to do. So I went to a pain specialist today. He said the same thing about the psych meds and ordered two mris and told me to come back in 3 weeks. He prescribed me some cream but I forgot to tell him that I can't take NSAIDs due to having weight loss surgery. So now I have to call tomorrow and see what he says. I feel like they all look at me like I'm a pill seeking junkie. I have panic disorder, so I'm currently taking 2mg of Xanax up to 4 times a day, 20mg of Valium and 200mg of hydroxyzine for sleep. They all say it's because of my antidepressants but I know it's because of my benzos and their amount and my age. I just turned 23 on nov 6th. The pain specialist said it could be nerve problems with my upper back. If they are truly concerned about the serotonin sydrome, I would stop taking my antidepressants in a heart beat. A big part of my depression is the pain because it's another constant thing in my life that I don't get any relief from. Same with voices. Antipsychotics don't work. So my doctor and I have agreed to not bother with them after 4 years of trying. This upper back pain is killing me. I've gotten stuck sitting and couldn't get up because it hurt too bad to try to get up. First time it happened, I was home alone and I had to call my mom, who was at work, and she couldn't leave so I had to call 911. They told me I just had a kidney infection but the pain has been there and constant ever since that day. Some nights I just lay here and cry because of the pain and knowing there's nothing I can take to help it or even do. Besides lay however I find comfortable and not moving, it hurts. Am I just being paranoid about doctors? Does my age matter? Do they care or will they believe me that my severe depression kept me from actively looking for pain relief for my lower back in the past 6 years? I feel like the pain is just another nail in the coffin.