I don't know if this applies to you .... I have known people who get bored easily and have a high need for stimulation of all kinds, but don't have the resources to go out and do really exciting or creative things. They satisfy their need for excitement through emotional drama, fights, chaos, scenes, edgy and wild friends and mixing sex into everything.

Those same needs for excitement and edginess can become part of one's sexual attraction, too.

Many people find some healthy outlets for these urges for excitement through music performance, drama, art, martial arts, rock climbing and other disciplined pursuits that put you right out there on the raw edge, exposing your soul to other people as you learn about yourself in the process.

Maybe you're a highly creative person who hasn't yet found an outlet for those creative impulses so you're substituting chaos in its place. It's confusing and difficult but certainly worth considering.

I wish you the best.