I like that, because it makes sense totally. Like it's not me, I'm lonely not around people who are accepting. I am around the chaos instead of being at home alone. I do have plenty of outlets, but the lack of connection is a big one. I do what you described despite my outlets. I just hate the people I'm around, they are too conservative for their own good, and ignorant mean and stubborn. They'd rather you die on drugs left on the street make excuses not knowing what's going on than trying to help you. I mean that's everywhere but here it's like you can't have any connection or you're ****ed.