The only way for the plain of past losses to lessen is to get involved with the present taking up interests that have a future. Talking and writing are all well and good. Eventually, though, you have to take your mental energy and direct it elsewhere. Otherwise, you are just dwelling and dwelling on what is over. As far as "getting help" goes, there are some things no one can really do for us. Do you imagine yourself sitting with a therapist, analyzing the heck out of this failed relationship . . . to figure out what? That sounds to me like another way to avoid letting it be over. There's nobody out there with any secret special knowledge about how to hurt less, while thinking about something painful.

Time does a great job of healing past hurts, and it's pretty much a mystery as to how that works. But it requires letting go and moving on.