It took: time; therapy; trusting on faith (and now know) that there are safer work places and positions for a more conducive work environment; knowing that the boss' conditioning that I had learned is not what mattered and needed to be unlearned; through a better environment, by building more confidence back and starting to trust my capabilities again while working at a new place and position that would allow for this; and to start building relationships again, possibly even trusting those I work with over time due to a better environment and position.

However, I still have moments of panic and nightmares, but each day building new positive associations in the new position is overriding some of the terrors so that those negative incidents are in the distant background now, not in the forefront, and thinking/triggering less and less of the negative memories. It is getting better bit by bit. The nightmares still come but are easier to deal with because I have new reality.

Abuse and its after effects are NEVER worth putting up with. Life is too short. Going to therapy for coping skills and making a new reality with a better environment is what made the difference for me to help overcome the abuse and trauma from the past. I hope you find what works best for you soon.