Hi brokenentity, I'm wondering if you're focusing a bit much on his expectations/what he'd like to see in you, but what about some of the expectations you'd have a right to have of him??? I mean it's not unreasonable to expect your father to still love, value you, see your worth however much you're struggling (whatever you can/can't achieve) even if he doesn't fully understand the "how's and why's" of what you're going through.
And I'd say it's him at fault if he can't feel and express that to you. He's failing you, not you failing him, remember??!!!
And I think you're starting to get that you are worth so much more than your fathers opinion anyway, right???? Because you are!!!!
And if he can't appreciate you for who you are, well maybe you can start appreciating yourself for who you are........??? And there will be other people who do/will do that too. You do have so much to feel proud about yourself about!!
And if you don't do as well at school, haven't got a great job and such like your cousins........well **** that, I'm willing to bet that you've gone through a lot more challenges to get where you are now than most of them in getting to where they are. I know things really haven't been easy for you/still aren't easy for you, but try not to lose sight of your real worth. And even if your father struggles in seeing that, then remember there's a bunch of us on here who do!!!

Alison