That year I graduated from my graduate school and since then I never went to a place where is my milieu and eventually even fell into a quagmire suffering from anguish. Originally I didn't plan to go back to the home after graduation. I desired to leave the home since senior high school. I tried to choose a university for my undergraduate school far away from the hometown but eventually I was admitted to a university not distant enough so that I can't live in the school dorm most of time; I commuted for an hour from home to the school and back another hour every day. After graduation I finally was admitted to a university for my graduate school far away enough so that I can live in the school dorm. During that period, I stayed in the suburb which brought me a sheer new life: I forgot all the pains in the hometown and understood what a really enjoyable world is. I considered I wouldn't go back to the smoggy hometown. I didn't go back to the hometown often during the period and gradually I found I couldn't tolerate the choking metropolitan atmosphere in the hometown whenever I had chance to drop by it.
After graduation, I planned to look for any position outside hometown to hoard some money then applied for a PhD program to study. Little did I predict not only couldn't I get a position close to my field but also couldn't find a position outside hometown. I ended up getting a position not in my field in my hometown city, which is the most high-end city in my country so that I can't afford to rent a house under my budget so that I could only live in the home. Little did I predict I was mired here since then for eons. How nice if I have not had moved back to the hometown. I almost forgot all the pains here during my stay in the suburb. Such long stay makes me recapture them and this time the situation is even tougher than the past because I have nobody to share at all. I don't have any friend in the hometown at all this time. And actually that position is a deplorable position and afterwards I left it. Then I wrote my papers for my master thesis ready for publication. I sent them to my former advisor to review. Little did I predict he can't finish them in more than 4 years, soon to be 5 years. During the period I kept looking for PhD programs investigating possible research projects. But it's like following his delay I seemed to gradually fall into a quagmire where I progressed slowly without much resource. I have been here floundering for long. Recently I told my former advisor I fell into a quagmire in a mail to him. I have written countless mails to him to prompt him revising my papers. He always gave me a great amount of subterfuges for delaying my papers. I really don't know how much he has progressed. I really want to leave this quagmire soon.
I really hope time can go back to that year when I graduated at 26. Because the stay in the quagmire has no registered credits to show.