Quote:
Originally Posted by doyoutrustme
There needs to be a consequence, and you need to stick to it.
Make sure you give them a warning first, with a clear indication of the consequences.
Here is an example scenario of how I deal with my kid...
"if you continue to beg me for {item}, not only will you not get the {item}, but you also won't get {ice cream} later. I understand that its upsetting not to get such a cool {item}, and it's okay to feel angry. But it is not okay to carry on about it. Do you want to sit on a bench until you can calm down?"
If the carrying on continues, follow through on your warning, and don't give extra extra extra chances. If she learns you always follow through, she will stop bothering to tantrum over time. While she is having a tantrum, calmly tell her that she won't get her {ice cream} now.
Obviously that will make it worse. Take her to a bench and sit it out until she calms down. (You can catch up to your friends later) Time out is not really about punishment. It's more about regaining composure.
Sometimes, after my kid calms down, we talk about what happened, and I try to think of a way she can earn it back with good behavior.
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This! If I had a nickel for every time I gave in to a tantrum, I'd be a rich woman by now. And when I gave in ONCE I taught her that if she screams loud enough for long enough, I'll give in.
Now I'm more determined than ever not to give in, I also have to change what I reward or take away. If she doesn't go to bed on time, what am I willing to give up? I can't threaten "go to bed or I'll spank you" because I can't won't and don't spank, but I can threaten "if you don't go to bed you lose tv time tomorrow" because not watching tv is not going to harm her, or me. Though it might lead to another tantrum tomorrow when I enforce it, which is another issue for me.
Mean what you say and say what you mean. If you say "we're leaving if you don't stop" then you have to leave. I've left groceries in a cart and walked out, we've left the park while it was still playtime, and we've left the library before I was ready to. So now I with-hold that threat unless I'm truly okay leaving right now, no matter what.
She will get tired and cranky and whiny and jumpy. Expect perfection and be disappointed. Expect kids to be kids and roll with it, she won't be the only kid there acting up. Don't let her do anything dangerous, such as separating from you in the crowd, but don't harp or nitpick about every little thing, because you will be disappointed and become angry because she can't and isn't capable of behaving perfectly. She is a small scarred child. I'm a grown woman and still can't behave perfectly, why would a small child act better than me?
Good luck and have fun at Disney!