I didn't have depression before it hit because of situations & they situations that had been piling up that even at that time no one recognized, not even myself (bad marriage that had already been going on for 25 years). I didn't realize that my career was what I was using to escape the bad marriage because I loved my career.....so when it ended & there was nothing that could replace it....I was left trapped in the marriage & then I couldn't escape from that because of the financial situation when I tried to get the divorce toward the end when I realized I had enough....I was blocked every direction I turned.

Some times it's not that we subconsciously turn away from making decisions in our life.....there are times that we try to make the decisions & they are continually blocked & it's like running a rat maze & constantly running into dead ends.......I was stuck in that situation for 13 years....that is a long time to have to accept & commit to a really BAD situation especially when just before the last few years it looked like I was going to be stuck there for the rest of my life.

I was definitely OPEN to the solution when it hit me over the head but because of the trauma I went through at the end, it took me longer to even get to the point where I could take action & get out.......

I escaped physically, but still was trapped unable to get the divorce because of the financial mess he made out of our marriage & I was dealing with the IRS for the last 7 years trying to clean up the mess he made (& is still making out of his life)....but I am finally trying to push the divorce through.....but just being away from him & being able to finally try to put the pieces together & to understand what happened & why has been a true blessing in my healing process.....& even though I moved to a place where I didn't know anyone.....I have been blessed to be surrounded by people who care & who I care about & it's been able to show me that I wasn't the problem......& that the anger wasn't ME because it went away so quickly after leaving....it wasn't like I had to relearn much of anything about controlling my anger....it came naturally after a couple of small oopses of my overreacting.

However I have one friend who fought everything in her marriage also before finally getting divorced & she is still fighting everything.....so I do think that there is some personality issues just in the way that people react & respond to others that can cause more problems than just the anger issues.

We all have theories on how things work.....& there are as many theories & ideas as there are causes for the problems.......if it works....great.....but don't give up if it doesn't.....there can always be some other method that will work.....& most of the time what I have found out in life is that EVERYTHING TAKES PATIENCE. Nothing is ever solved overnight or in the blink of an eye, or even a SNAP of the finger. Most of the time our neuropathways in our brain need to be reprogrammed by continuous practice & that in itself takes time......but it's important to use the techniques that you find that help & continue to use them if you do see some progress because it does take time & it's good to have many different ideas to give a try with because you never know what might actually WORK. That's the wonderful part of PC....lots of good insights that have worked for different people & a chance to open the mind to different concepts.