I am currently unmedicated.

I have been diagnosed bipolar 2 by four different doctors but I just can't stop being in denial about it. I feel guilty, like I'm lying every time I talk about being diagnosed with it, like I don't deserve the title or I cheated during diagnosis or something. My hypomania (if that's what it is) comes for a week or two every few months and is almost always dysphoric or is more like an agitated depression. I have severe depressive episodes as well but my 'normal' mood still shows a lot of depressed traits- no motivation, poor self esteem, tired a lot, etc so it's sometimes difficult to distinguish when an actual depression is starting. I also have general anxiety and crippling social anxiety and chronic derealization, so no matter how my mood is I am really detached and lonely and don't leave the house very often (no job, no friends, no school, etc.) So what keeps happening is that I will feel like I'm absolutely losing my mind for a week or two and then I'll go back to 'normal' or depressed for awhile and basically be like, "obviously I'm not bipolar, I just have major depression and anxiety and had a weird week." My mom does this too, she doesn't really believe I'm bipolar either and every time I pop back to my norm she thinks see she's fine it was just a fluke and I don't know what to believe.

Does this happen to anyone else? How do you deal with it? Am I even wrong? I just feel so lost.