I have never been to this boards before. I thought it was just for people who had multiple personality disorder. I have very severe disassociation issues that I have been in a level of denial about-.I suppose we have to be really. I have played down the severity of it to myself. I have disassociated since I was a toddler and I just put myself into a trance ever since, sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. Im 26 now, so I've done what you do for a long time.

Visiting this board tonight has been a painful wakeup call for me...although it did make me diassociate a result!!

it's weird reading your posts because have always done the same thing except with walking, because I dont drive. I also slip into a trance when being driven very easily, so its probably something about the rhythm that does that. Apparently movement promotes dissasociation because it makes it easier to fall into a trance, gence why people often mention driving.

I also have very extreme reactions to medications to the point that it ended up being ascertained that they had caused me mixed episodes of mania for 7 years. I wouldnt say one of the side effects of the meds was disassociation though. I have disassociated to the point of being able to put myself into a trance though moving a piece of string in my hands listening to music, walking nd being driven for years. It causes huge memory blanks. Makes me wonder whether its some kind of sinilar brain chemistry which causes people to diassociate and to be very sensitive to meds, but maybe it's just chance.

I also was involved in a domestic abuse violence for many years, albeit it involved being trapped living with my father until I was nearly 26 due to my issues and the side effects I had on the meds. I have been in a womens refuge in the past to get away from him.I was also involved in a very bonkers evangelical church at one point, which was harmful to me. I had gone to them to be looked after, and it was just pure madness. I have severe post traumatic stress from everything that happened. I haven't been diagnosed with complex ptsd, because it isnt a diagnosis in my country, but there is no doubt that I have it.

I think my diassociation developed due to needing to survive adverse childhood experiences. Fo me, it is more potent and powerful than any drug or alcohol.However, I get dreadful flashbacks now and triggered badly even by certain words or objects, so i still disassociate even though I have recently got away from the abuse. It's like I can't turn it off. I'm not even sure I want to. I can honestly say that the trance I fall into is more powerful than heroin in its effects!

I dont have any advice other to say that I understand what you are talking about, and although every situation is different, I have some understanding of the things you have experienced too . Have you tried grounding texhniques? Is part of you scared to lose the spaced out detached feeling it gives? It is like a drug