It is hard to receive abusive behavior from someone who is supposed to be a nurturer. The older parents get the more the seem to revert to their old habits, some good and many irritating or hurtful. No easy fix on that.
It helps me to see that parent as having an illness where they cannot control their own behavior. The saddest part for me is that those who need loving kindness the most tend to drive it away with their grating behaviors.
Sometimes music helps me. The way we were brings up other times with happier memories and also those not so happy. It seems we can't totally get away from the pains.

Barbara Streisand's version requires a box of tissues nearby.