Hello Hopeful

I am sorry that you lost your mom in such a traumatic way and at such a young age, the death of a parent is hard for anyone no matter what the circumstances, but in your situation especially difficult.

My thoughts are that you have 3 things to deal with here, the trauma, the grief and your whole life being uprooted.

I would say of the the three, dealing with the grief will help you to deal with the other two. Grieving is a natural process that moves through different phases, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it needs to happen if you are to move on with your life. Through no fault of your own you didn't get a chance to go through the grieving process, so it is no wonder you are feeling so emotionally confused. There are therapists and counsellors who can help you through this, do you think you can get to see one? I think a specialist grief counsellor would also be able to help you find the answers to what caused your mom's death and knowing that would be a big step forward to dealing with the trauma.

Once again, I am sorry that you have has so much to deal with and I hope that you find PC supportive and helpful.