I'm newly diagnosed and I know how you feel. I don't want this diease. I want to be normal. I am on meds that somewhat work but the mania comes every week for days. I had to stop college and I want to go back once my meds are under control. Everyone says to just accept it, this is your life. Stay home and go on disability. I'm not ready to accept that my life is over. When I try to read about it, I can't stand it. I think we can still have a life even with this disease. I'm not ready to to give up.