Besides girl friends, I think you could use some male friends, or just some friends of either gender, who are only friends, not sex partners. Get involved in things where you interact with others on some structured basis.

Sounds like you've been through some awfulness in your life. Finding a good therapist might be worth doing.

Some people who are very plain looking have nice friends and even get into good relationships. So it's not all about whether you are ugly or not. Some gorgeous people have hideously bad relationships. Keep the heck away from mean people, and actively seek out nice people. That could go a long ways toward healing your scarred soul. Actually, it's the only thing that will.