There is no use. For this, I'm doomed, because people don't know what I'm dealing with my self hatred on my looks, I starve myself to be good enough. It's an overwhelming feeling of that. I overachieve, because I'm afraid of dying alone after everyone I know dies. It's a feeling, I'll have no control one day and I don't want my life in someone else's hands. I want to feel good enough, many times. I want to be a woman myself. I exercise a lot I eat less and I'm doing my best to talk to people and form friendships with individuals. I don't see them as objects, I don't know how to use anything descriptive or literate for people to understand the feelings I'm going through. This is a very common issue I have, and I can't see context clues in just people when I feel like they hate me, it's not that they hate me that bothers me, it's feeling like I'm scared they'll make my life hell, because I'm not good enough and I don't look perfect. I can't fix myself to be what they see me to be.