You don't sound awful to me either, but I'm having trouble grasping the gravity of your situation...


To me 1 annual visit with a relative you don't relate to doesn't seem like too much too bear...


Would you rather not see her at all then?

That is another option open to you.


Next time she tells you she's visiting, tell her you already have plans for that weekend... Or your response in your OP will also suffice, not sure of the relationship dynamic.


Like I said, I'm having trouble grasping the gravity of your situation.