I suffer from major recurring depression and am also a drug addict/alcoholic in recovery. My psychiatrist has allotted me a small amount of benzos specifically for cases like the one you are describing. If I get to the point where the feelings of hopelessness, despair, guilt, and worthlessness become so great that harming myself seems like a viable option, I take a couple benzos, call a safe person (someone who's supportive of you and aware of your condition), and I stay on the phone with them until someone can get to me. This exact scenario has saved my life and kept me from hospitalization multiple times. They are not a long term solution because of the risk of dependency, but they can be an excellent tool to help you just make it to tomorrow. Best of luck my dear. You are not alone.