So I managed to get Mrs. Webgoji to talk yesterday. As it happens, about 3 or 4 months ago when she started working on her PTSD, her sex drive almost completely disappeared. She told me later that her libido was doing fine, but in fact her libido has never returned.

Thanks to her childhood, she can't separate sex and love. Meaning I can't just do something nice for her without her thinking she owes me sex. For 14 years that hasn't been the case, but she still can't make that separation.

So when I did all that last Friday, she felt like she owed me sex, but had spent all day trying to get in the mood and just couldn't get herself in the mood. Not a bug deal for me, but she was so upset with herself that she had a meltdown.

At least she's been honest with me and herself. She's went to therapy herself yesterday and is going to talk frankly with the doctors. So we can actually approach things without that secret.