Hi people
I am 20 years of age and was put in care by the age of 4. i was with foster parents and in children homes growing up and have always thought of life as a dark place. I have no family to rely on or never had love in my life. i have resonantly been diagnosed with Emotionally unstable personality disorder and i am on medication for this which was helping until i met my new girlfriend. I have had 2 serious relationships previously and my trust issues have pushed them away and destroyed the relationship which left me heartbroken even though I caused it. I constantly accused them of cheating and always thinking everything they said was to hide something or a cover up. I started talking to some girl 2 months ago online and we get on well and she drove to my home and picked me up and we went out had a good laugh and it was going really well, i see her a few more times and she really likes me and i really like her too. but i cant stop saying please don't cheat on me. its so weird because i don't want to be saying it but i cant control it i feel like i have to keep saying it and i no it aint healthy. i have spoke to her about why i feel like this and tried to get her to understand and she re assures me she only wants me and that she wouldn't hurt me or cheat. we are together now but i am on here because i cant control it myself im always doubting her and not trusting her when she has not done anything wrong. she is very independent and i worry 24/7 that i am going to loose her, if i carry on like this i will eventually loose her and im scared of that. can anyone give me any advice on what to do because im going to end up lonely for life if i carry on the way i am. i don't believe when she tells me she loves me i dont believe anything she says. i just don't know what to do. even when i come home after a good time with her i get all down and depressed.