First of all, I'm sorry I haven't been too active in supporting others here.

How can I explain to my psychiatrist and my therapist that I need more help? I've been having so many nightmares about the sexual abuse and I can't seem to have a good night's sleep without waking up from a nightmare.

I got close to talking about them with my psychiatrist, but at the last minute, when he asked me to explain my nightmares I got scared and told him I didn't want to talk about it. In truth, I really don't want to talk about it, but I don't want to keep these memories locked up in my brain anymore either.

I have tried to tell my therapist in the past, but every time she's asked me if I wanted to share, I told her no. And I told her I'd never be willing to share. She eventually stopped asking if I wanted to share, and I don't really want to tell her if she doesn't ask me about it.

I am so anxious all the time. I feel like I'm always in danger and I can't avoid it no matter all the precautions I take. I want someone to talk to about my nightmares, I want someone to listen to me whine about these damn memories, but I am so scared. I am afraid that if I talk about it, I might let it happen again. As if my words could bring it into existence, you know? I don't want to talk about it, but I know I need to...

Is there any easier way to talk about this? Some way I can communicate to my care team that I need some help?