Quote:
Originally Posted by Creamsickle
I agree with Doyoutrustme above. The man is the one who is getting what he wants out of this relationship. Especially if he never marries her. Dating is not serious until it gets long term. Long term is not beneficial to a young woman who has not had the advantage of time and varying partners as her 45 yr old bf has had. If she wants children, that may be another blow to her if the 45 yr old has his own grown children and is not planning on any more. This is a losing situation for the woman, even though she may not see it that way. 20 is a tender young age. I just see this as a man taking advantage in the long run. Sometimes a relationship like this just has to run its course. Both people have to exhaust their deep rooted needs until reality sets in, and eventually it will.
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Why do you think that the woman gets nothing of this relationship? Are you also paternalistic towards young women? A young woman can get a ton of this kind of relationship - exposure to a large social circle if the older man is well connected and with good social skills; hopefully an attentive, patient, and caring sexual partner; opportunities to travel if he is able to provide them; seeing the world from a different angle from being with the 40 year old man and mingling with his contacts; more finesse; more polish, etc. Faster intellectual maturation; having a wider circle of interests; reading books and watching movies that her peers might not have watched because they have not been in the social circle of 40-somethings.
This is just a short list. But, for all of that, the man needs to be confident. I am not sure OP is necessarily confident given that he posted the poll instead of just trusting his best judgment. I might be reading more to it than there is, though; maybe OP is genuinely interested in conducting a poll of public opinion. Reading the divergent opinions on this thread has definitely illuminated how touchy the issue is.