I'm sorry, i know these posts are so annoying but i like having personal conversation since everyone has different experiences, so please do not mentally stone me c:

anyway, i think it is possible that i have schizoaffective (not sure which type, prob bipolar). I mostly suffer from delusions, i do not hear voices though, however i do have intrusive thoughts. I have had auditory hallucinations in the past but it is kind of sparse. I also have some perceptual problems, like seeing things out of the corner of my eye or seeing faces in stuff. I read this is common with psychosis?

To start off, i have constant paranoia about people laughing or talking about me, hating me, following me, wanting to hurt me, etc. I also believe i need to die (prob kill myself) in order to find the "true me". I think people in my life are in on something, planning against me. I have feelings of superiority and sometimes feel god or devil like. Like i am just a very special person with a bigger purpose. I mostly keep these thoughts to myself, but it definitely makes me isolate. Sometimes i feel like the only person in the world and just dealing with people really stresses me out because im always on high alert. I have these thoughts like 99% of the time, and they get worse when i am having a mood swing or panic attack, they are pretty quick mood swings though, no longer than a day or few, sometimes shorter (i blame bpd). I also have a few negative symptoms.

The thing i am hung up on is the "2 weeks of psychosis without mood symptoms" thing. I cant really tell when im having a mood episode because im so used to it and everything blends together. I dont think im having an episode right now but im not sure because everything feels chaotic in my head (bpd again). It is important to note i dont experience mania, but a mixed state (which is why i have NOS tacked onto m bipolar dx). So maybe this is bipolar with psychotic features, or maybe sza? Sorry this was long...