Thankyou everybody for responding.

kalioppe- Thankyou for saying you had read all my posts. That is sweet of you to read them.
I suspect that I may very well have bipolar, but that because it was type 11, the 'hypomania' was perceived by me as a welcome reprieve within a an otherwise bleak domestic abuse situation, and therefore I would never have viewed it as an issue.And then, because I was blamed for the severe mixed episodes i experienced on ssris I didn't think of it then either. I just thought it was me. Obviously, because I took meds since I was 18, there are diagnostic issues in terms of getting a firm diagnosis. However, I have had some times without taking meds within that time frame and still had periods of elevated mood alwo, I remember being 17 and having periods of time where I didn't need to sleep for days, and I had all these ideas. I remember thinking at the time that it was like 'glowing on the inside' that's how I conceptulised it. So yeah, bipolar is definately a possibility with me. Many people would probably say it's a strong possibility or even probable, but my psychiatrist believes that ssris can cause mania in and of themselves so he has put it down as 'ssri induced mania.'

It's interesting though that you had a similar experience on ssris. My psychiatrist said that he had other clients who had similar experience on ssris, and it would be interesting to find out how many of them were later diagnosed with bipolar.