You can't. None of this is black and white, or rarely is. One of the biggest hurdles in this stuff is discovering that you have to decide for yourself based on evidence... both concrete and circumstantial. You have to find your truth and then believe in it.. it's not easy.

you can't know what is in someone's mind.. MY T said that if you hit me you may not be intending to hurt me but if you do hit me the chances are that you probably are trying to hurt me. Something in it made a lot of sense.. we feel the energy of those around us, anger, sexual, everything... we sort of sense things. There is an awkwardness that most children will pick up on.. that somethnig isn't right. Small kids wouldn't even know some things are wrong.. but there is soemthing in it that makes them feel it is wrong somehow.

dont know if this helps