(((Nature1968)))

I'm sorry that your friend reacted so badly when you told her you had been hospitalized. That's awful. I think it says more about your friend than you though... to me, it seems crazy and unrealistic to expect someone is just going to tell you their entire life history when you first meet. You weren't *hiding* it - you just hadn't had the right opportunity (and felt safe enough) to share it yet. There's a big difference. I'm sorry that you got hurt though

And, I'm sorry that your name is a trigger for you too. I don't like my name, and have thought about changing it. Have you ever thought about something like that? It seems drastic, but I think it could be a way to reclaim some power in the world! If you don't want to do that, you could try using your middle name? Lots of people seem to do that, so it's not an unusual thing.

I understand about the stress with calling up a new T. Could you try looking her up online, to see if you can get a feel for her? That usually helps me to feel a little tiny bit more comfortable - so she's not a total stranger. I hope you're able to get in touch with her, when you're ready, and that she's helpful!

Yes... I agree... people can be very frightening, and difficult, and confusing! I'm thinking it's a little bit of a numbers game... you meet alot of people, most of them aren't a good match, but if you can find a handful that make good friends, then that's what counts!