I would suggest reading all you can on it.....one book that I found extremely helpful is The complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood.

I was married for 33 years to a guy who I'm sure was dealing with Asperger's......reading the book, it gave me so many ah ha moments that explained exactly what the issues were that caused the serious problems in the marriage.

Asperger's wasn't even known about or DX'ed until he was in his 40's & it wasn't something that they even dx'ed adults with at that time either. It wasn't actually until 7 years ago after I finally left that one of my T's suggested that he might possibly be dealing with asperger's because of the issues that I was describing.....& I actually put it aside until just a few months ago when I started reading about it.

My personal view is that his issues were mainly attitude & communication problems.....& even someone with Asperger's can learn that just because they have a high IQ doesn't make them any better or smarter than anyone else......he was only smart in one area & that was math.....he couldn't problem solve a thing in his life.......I initially blamed his parents for never teaching him how to deal with finances or how to solve problems & he had absolutely NO common sense. I do believe that parents can focus on teaching these things no matter how their children actually look at things.....it doesn't mean that parents can't teach a child within their ways of thinking to learn how to deal with things.....it takes more time & patience. Yes, they may have things that cause them to have problems but they can be taught to deal with them & recognize them within their own mind's limitations.......they don't have to just be allowed to blindly have to figure it out on their own.

I think that reading that book can help understand what the differences can be & help guide them through those differences & grow from them, not make them into a battle throughout life.

Doubt that ex would ever be Dx'ed with Asperger's by his age at 62.....& sadly, he's messed up his life in a huge & who knows where he will end up because of the direction his life went in.....but he made it impossible to EVER continue tolerating or living under the same roof & escaping from the life I was in was my only choice if I wasn't going to allow him to destroy me along the way.

I recognized red flags before I ever got married when I was 21 & he was 22....but had no idea what we were really dealing with....& it came across at that time as extreme immaturity.....which he never was able to change & it seemed the older he got, the worse he got & the more stresses that hit his life the less he could handle......at this point, sadly it's almost as if he can't even care for himself & definitely incapable of caring for himself financially.....but it's where his life is & APS refuses to get help for him because he's capable of making decisions whether good or bad....it's his problem.....& had no idea whether social security was willing to provide the payee & requested for him....(I am still working on getting the divorce but from 2100 miles away & with someone who is incapable of communicating....it's NOT the easiest thing to do either).

Teaching children how best to cope in the world given the way their mind works.....then need to learn skills that they can handle & understand to deal with their lives rather than to make it worse.....& I'm sure it's possible....& maybe getting a good T who is well versed on dealing with children with Asperger's would also be a good place to turn....but it's good to educate yourself & to understand & ask questions & be a good observer of your child so that you can make the best choices in teaching them helpful skills.