Quote:
Originally Posted by JoshCube
Right, I didn't date, because the dating would have led to sex. I didn't want to date a woman, and then see her leave me once I told her the bad news about my religion. My religion is what caused the personality disorder in the first place.
I felt monogamous when I was newly married to my wife, and was still religious. My personality has changed since I lost my virginity to her, and since I dropped my religion. I'm just very upset, because I didn't get to date multiple women before settling down, and I'm trying to see if there's a way to turn back the clocks.
EDIT: By the way, my religion taught celibacy. Because it says you can't have sex before marriage, it pretty much puts you in a celibacy position. I feel like I'm a bottle full of air that got pressed over the years, and then finally exploded.
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Actually, let me rephrase this. I felt monogamous when I was
dating/engaged to my wife before we got married. We got engaged the first three months after we met, because we felt we were soul mates. However, ever since I got married to her and dropped my religion a year after we got married, I have not felt monogamous anymore. I think what is causing this is that my religious congregation kept forcing and pushing us to get married, and they did this non-stop to us.
There are other posts in here that I need to reply to, but I need to go to bed since I have school tomorrow, and I'm tired. I just wanted to clear this up that I did not start looking at other women until we went to the court house and signed those papers. So in other words, it seems there is some psychological torment I am feeling where I feel like a rat that stepped into a trap.
Check this out. I met a girl on the internet
exactly two weeks after our marriage, and I "kind of" cheated on my wife. I didn't do anything sexual, it was more of emotional betrayal, such as telling the woman that I loved her. I actually fell in love with the girl, but had to close off communication when my wife found out about it. So yeah, it looks like our congregation forcing us to get married is what screwed up my mentality, which was the feeling of being free.