.

This is totally the case for me and many people. Work is paid servitude. It drains the energy out of you, takes away selfhood. It's maddening how the media and educational institutions try to sell it as something self expressive. It rarely is.

Flours, you may be reacting normally to a really unpleasant situation that other people would find intolerable and run away from. Tears, disillusionment, resentment, self doubt - a lot of people react that way to their jobs or else they are suppressing it actively.

I'm frozen right now at work not completing basic assigned tasks at work and just waiting to get busted. It's shameful because I've been there 10+ years and shouldn't be screwing up. Maybe it's just is a bad experience that's lasted too long. So really new or old jobs can be bad/go bad.

Also - Therapy is sometimes painful especially processing the past and some days I'm in a fog mulling over what we discuss in T. That's affecting work negatively and this might be a factor for you, actually for lots of us. If so it's not you/our fault.

And you are not the most stupid person in the world, not nearly. Stupid people don't have insight and determination like it seems you really have. Tears are not sign of weakness. Wish I still had some.