It sounds like you had these two way up on a pedestal that they belonged on only in your own mind. I'm so sorry for the unbelievable pain you must be going through. These two found you serving some purposes in their lives. You thought it was all about love. I don't think this is how love ends. When things end like this, I got to wonder if there was ever any real love there . . . . or just passing time, till something better came along.

You say you have been very alone except for these two people. Maybe that led you to invest each of them with all these wonderful virtues that they never possessed. You were living in a world created by your dreams of what you wanted to be true. But it was never true . . . . never real.

Now you are forced to deal with how these two really feel about you . . . . that they don't particularly care. My heart goes out to you. It does sound like you really believed they did.

So you believed in what wasn't real and found out that it was all an illusion. Or mostly an illusion. That sets you free to live in reality. Reality can be a very cold and lonely place, I know. But you can move on to other relationships. I know that right now you have no interest in that. You have no interest in all the people in the world around you whom you don't know. But I promise you that there are worthwhile people out there.