I feel for you. I did the opposite - I couldn't face having my beloved cat put down when she had cancer. I couldn't bear it. She ended up with a tumour as hard as a rock and the size of my fist and it finally burst open in a pool of blood. It happened when I wasn't home, and husband took her to the vet where she died. So you see, with pets, it's very rare that they die peacefully in their sleep. Whatever you do, the end is often horrible.

So I guess the point is to not beat yourself up about what happened, BP Artist and Turtlesoup. You did what you thought was the best at the time, and in the end that is all we can ever do - try to do the best in whatever situation we are in. That's hard enough when death isn't involved and ten times more difficult when it is and you have all your emotions and panic and mental illness on top of all that.

Hugs,

Darvula