hi pent
I am sorry that you have suffered from depression for so long. it is common to use distraction to get away from it. it sounds like it has created some anxiety for you and this is impacting your relationships with others. it could benefit you to seek some counseling to work through these issues. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome