Welcome to PC.

I would highly suggest reading the book "The Noon Day Demon" by Andrew Solomon.

He suffered some very severe bouts of depression in his life. He is an author by trade and decided to go out and thoroughly research depression and write a book. He is bi sexual I think. He started having gay sex when he was pretty young. At one point he went out and purposely tried giving himself AIDS by having unprotected sex with total strangers he met on the street. In his view now it was para suicidal behavior, or least very self destructive.

In his research he found the incidence of depression is much higher in gays. On the one hand family, society, people who fund education, etc. send the signals that you are defective for being who you are. On the other hand the openly gay community says come out of the closet and march in the parade and celebrate. Causes a lot of conflict for people. Being raised religious I am sure causes a lot of conflict. Having a meaningful relationship would be hard to hide.

Being you are in Canada does the health care system have therapy services for you? I think you could really benefit from therapy. Help resolve inner conflicts. Maybe help you find more support with groups or new friends being so far away from home.