Thank you for sharing your story with us.

As a first point of call you'd want to get a referral to a psychiatrist. You'd need a professional diagnosis as to what mental health issue you are facing. That way you would be able to be put on the right medication and receive appropriate treatment.

Sounds as if this is starting to dominate your life and that's why I think you need help. A therapist wouldn't be a bad idea.

Wishing you all the best.