Hi Feline Frenzy, really sorry it's so hard for you right now
But glad you've found us. Plenty of people on here are going to identify with the way you're feeling, so you'll certainly get some understanding and support here if you can stick with us.
Are you getting any help from any professionals with the way you're feeling, or have you any outside support right now?? Do you think maybe you could/should seek that out??
But either way, you're not on your own now you're here, and although it may feel at your core you're rotten........I'm not buying it!!! Feeling the way you do may feel rotten, but that doesn't make you rotten!!
Welcome to PC!! And if you want to talk more...................
Alison