I hate it when she does it. Redirecting her anger on me like I want it. Like I deserve it.

I got a bit annoyed because my mother did something I didn't want done while making dinner. She can't read minds, so it was whatever. I said that I would find something else, she got pissed and I don't think she understands how truly angry she makes me. It is like the world revolves around her and the only true emotions are her own. I am not allowed to be anything but happy because it puts her in a bad mood. It isn't fair that I cannot voice my opinions or show my emotions. She got angry at me and I just felt rage. The kind that bubbles in your stomach and makes your chest feel odd. After the argument was over, I felt trapped. I wanted to flee from the living room and go to my room, but she would get even more upset and I probably wouldn't eat dinner out of stubbornness. I went downstairs and now I am just typing this and I am angry. I can hear her upstairs and I just want to hurt myself to get this anger to go away. I can't though, I made a promise to someone.