I think he should take his children on outings way more often than he currently is doing. For everyone's sake - his sake, their sake, your sake, and your daughter's sake. Just tell him what you have told us - that you are resentful, that they most likely are also resentful, that they are a handful, that your daughter is shortchanged, etc. And that if he does not do it, then pretty soon you will have exhausted your emotional resources. Counselling costs money; for that same money he can take them out and you can take your daughter to a playground for a mommy-and-me time, one-on-one.