The jury is actually out on the effects of smoking pot in adolescence - the causal connection has not been established with certainty, and because schizophrenia - the usual concern about smoking pot before the brain fully matures is that doing so might trigger schizophrenia - often debuts in late adolescence and early college years, there may be an appearance of causation but not actual causation. In the past, there was a rumor that the MMR vaccine caused autism; it has been disproven through and through, and the reason the connection was suspected is because the first signs of autism are usually showing exactly when the first MMR vaccine is given.

I am not saying that smoking pot in adolescence is as safe as getting the MMR vaccine series - no, with the MMR/autism connection, there is a proof that none exists; with the pot, the jury is out. I used the MMR/autism example simply to illustrate that when two things occur nearly contemporaneously, one might suspect a causal connection, but it does not mean that there is true causation.

Another thing is called self-medication - turning to pot because of the underlying mental illness to blunt the emotions. this is not your case for sure - I am just mentioning it as another example of the trickiness of the causation issue and the temptation to interpret things the way you want. Say, with self-medication, if a person becomes, e.g., more depressed, it could be:
- because of pot
- regardless of pot
- without pot, would have been much worse
- not directly because of pot, but caused indirectly, due to delayed treatment - smoking pot provided some relief, so the person continued to self-medicate instead of seeking treatment, and by the time the person sought treatment, the disease advanced, damaging the brain (and in such cases, one might suspect that pot damaged the brain, but it is not guaranteed)
- not directly because of pot, but indirectly because the pothead secluded himself, did not exercise, did not spend time outdoors, did not connect with others socially - all those good things lift depression and their absence can deepen the depression, but not directly because of pot.

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So, just to show that there are many many complexities in this issue.

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In your first post, you seem to be describing mild dissociation. If not derealization. For this I would recommend that you talk to a therapist.

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In one of your subsequent posts, you wrote about having sex with a girl whom you CONVINCED to have sex with you and that it felt like work and you wonder how you performed your part.

But what did you expect from a sexual encounter with a girl who was not that much into you and who had to be convinced?? that it felt like work was pretty much expected.

The reason I am calling it out - you seem to be pathologizing everything, seeing symptoms of disorder or brain shrinkage in completely normal scenarios - e.g. that sex with a less-than-enthusiastic partner is boring is normal, and basically are an illustration to the famous book by Jerome K Jerome (if you have not read it, you must go to your library and get it!).

I would also say that you are gaslighting yourself - convincing yourself that you have gone mad and then interpreting everything around yourself as proof of your madness.

Whatever happened with pot happened in the past and you cannot undo the past. What POSITIVE steps are you currently taking to get better? Are you talking to a counselor, have you seen a neurologist, do you regularly walk or bike or swim or run, have you been administered an IQ test by a qualified neuropsychologist?..