Quote:
Originally Posted by socialschiz
Omg! I have 8.5 years experience in customer service. I worked for an online casino. And I was good. That's the thing, if its not face to face and not personal, I handle myself well. Its face to face that's the problem. I feel vulnerable. I don't know what to do with myself. Also, the Schizo traits I have got much worse after a few consecutive traumatic experiences. It got so severe that I've had to take a break from working and am only now working on things. I'm 34 and my twenties were not as bad as my thirties. Normally people progress but I'm the exception to the rule it seems. I'm telling you, I'm a special blend of crazy. My Doctor can't figure me out and neither can I.
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I have to give it to you - you ARE a very unusual case. But at least the Doctor gets to exercise his or her brain figuring you out! You should ask for a reduced fee from the Dr. - you are giving the Dr. a formidable puzzle to solve, and solving puzzles is supposed to protect from dementia, so YOU are doing a service to the DOCTOR
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I think you have tremendous insight and have identified two things:
1) personal vs professional
2) face-to-face versus not face-to-face
With (1), you are right that personal conversations make you vulnerable. In professional conversations, you have already learned the ropes, for one, so you feel confident, and, for another, your ego, sensibilities, etc. are not so much involved. So personal conversations are harder. They are also less predictable than conversations with customers. But you have got the skill - at least before the traumatic event, you had the skill of talking to customers.
With (2), again, you identified the issue correctly - being vulnerable; plus, the blunted affect thing harms you in face-to-face encounters, so written exchanges feel probably feel way safer. And you do not need to read the facial expressions of your conversation partners.